I recently started talking to a fireman. Let me just tell you…there is nothing sexier in this world then a cute fireman. If you are ever looking for a profession that will up your chances of getting laid… be a fireman. So naturally, I’m pretty excited. He’s pretty good looking, sweet, nice, and tries pretty hard to make me laugh. And while all of this is great, unfortunately, he just loves to tell me about three things:
1) What a good guy he is (He saves puppies! And people!)
2) What a badass he is (he snowboards…and plays electric guitar!)
3) That he hopes he’s not boring/annoying/bugging me.
GAH! It’s almost disappointing because this guy has a gut load of potential. Unfortunate for him, while he spends 80% of the time that we talk on these topics, none of this impresses me. Now, I’m not saying that it wouldn’t impress me…it’s that he’s blatantly saying “this is why you should like me” instead of just letting me figure it out for myself.
You can’t make somebody like you. You can’t talk them into it. You can’t tell them story after story of how well you treated your exes, how good you are to your mother, or what a stand up guy you are at work, because if you’re sitting there telling us how awesome you are to everybody, we just take that as…look at how many people this damn fool gotten on his knees and opened wide for.
So if you want a girl to know what a good guy you are…then just be a good guy. We’re not complete idiots. We can tell when somebody is nice…you really don’t have to find a way to bring it up in every conversation we have. It’s like trying to tell somebody how good chocolate is. Oh okay, yes chocolate is good. But chocolate will get up and turn up the thermostat before you have to get up for work in the morning. Oh, nice chocolate. And chocolate visits his grandmother three times a week and plays Uno with her. Yeah, chocolate seems very nice. Yes, and chocolate always brings in bagels for his co-workers. I’m sure chocolate is super awesome. Oh yeah, and chocolate fought a guy at bar once with his sweet karate moves because the guy had called his girlfriend a bitch. Ok, we get it. Chocolate is good. Either give me some damn chocolate or shut up about it already.
In the end, I’ve decided to try the firefighter out because I know that behind all of the talk, he is a nice guy. But to be honest, if I wasn’t trying to analyze him and the dating process, I probably would ignore his next few calls and then text him and tell him that I’ve been really busy and can’t commit the time needed into a relationship right now…and then try to find somebody that doesn’t talk about chocolate so much…
There’s nothing wrong with being a nice guy. Just don’t constantly tell us about it, okay?