Date like a gay...get laid like a god.

Sup, Nerds.

Out of all of the guys that I’ve gone out with since I started this little experiment, only two of them have gotten second dates with me. Both of them I labeled as “possible gays” after my first dates. So out of all these guys… why on earth would I give possible gays another date over clearly straight men? Well, I’ll tell you why. Possibly gay or not, I’d rather go out with somebody who I don’t feel like I might have to taze at some point during the date. That’s why.

So after my first date with a possibly gay kindergarten teacher, I felt like I had just had dinner with my best gay friend. We talked and laughed and somewhere throughout the date I became comfortable with PGKT. He never grabbed at me. He didn’t make any sexual remarks towards me. He complimented me. He didn’t jump me at any point during the date, and he was overall interesting and engaging. There was absolutely no chemistry after date 2, but, I was willing to go on date 2 to see if there would be chemistry. Something that I did not grant to the Weatherman, Mr. Unsuccessful, the Guido, or any of the other too-macho –for-their-own-goddamn-big-heads-and-small-dicks guys.

I went on date #2 with my vegetarian last night. During the first date we had really great continuous conversations where we were able to joke and laugh and tease each other. He asked me questions about myself, didn’t brag, didn’t try and overly assert his manliness at any time. He was such a gentleman, didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, left the night with a goodbye hug and an “I’ll contact you” (which…and this is key…he actually did), and at no point did I feel like I had to “get away” or pretend to get a phone call. (What? My Aunt is where? Is she okay? Oh my God, stay right there, I’ll be right there! I’m so sorry, I have to go…)

So what made me label my vegetarian a possible gay in the first place? Well, he loves scarves, owns leather gloves, talked about Twilight (he’s so team Jacob), shook my hand when he met me, seemed like he could dress himself, and didn’t mention one word about sports.  So I was a little unsure, but was completely willing and excited to give him a second date because I didn’t feel  threatened by him and I genuinely had a really good time on the first date.

I felt so comfortable with him that I actually asked him out for our second date. Why? Because I wasn’t threatened. I never felt a need to have mace on me when I was with him. And I never felt like I couldn’t ask him out because it might interfere with his macho. And as sad as it is, it’s seriously refreshing to be on a date with a guy without having to constantly plan a “just in case” escape route or worry about how I’m going to avoid getting slobbered on. Its nice have a guy sit back and let ME decide when I want to be kissed. And you better believe that date #2 with my vegetarian resulted in some lip lock because he was patient enough to let me be ready. I gave my vegetarian the kiss(es) that all of the other too eager dick thinkers wanted and might have gotten had they calmed it down and let me come to them. And you better believe that if he keeps being the kind, sweet, confident guy that he’s been, he will eventually get laid. (And I’m not talking about crappy missionary laid…I’m talking the good stuff).  

So learn from your feminine bros…because as much as you might make fun of them for their scarves and tolerance of chick flicks, 10 bucks says they’re getting some of the good stuff while you’re sitting alone, trying to decide between righty and lefty.



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