Yay. My first question! Thanks Nik, for the interest and therefore, my next blog topic.
Yes, after a short hiatus, Slugs in back. I am totally digging the idea of people asking questions and me answering them. With that said, if YOU have any relationship/sex/girl/guy/love questions, you can post your questions or send them to me at email@example.com. I’d be happy to answer.
So anyway, back to Nik. He has asked…
“You are hanging out with a few friends and the topic of discussion turns to something that one of the guys is really passionate about (something he likes, not hates). You can almost see him glow up as he is talking about what he is really interested in. Sexy?
Someone that is really handy, for example with carpentry or computers, and can help you with just about every problem in that area (and is willing to). Sexy?”
Two questions really...and dog gone it, I’m gonna answer both.
First off, any kind of passion is sexy. Girls, for the most part, find any kind of assertion of opinions to be a major turn on. So even “negative passion” can be sexy in some cases...why do you think we’re always trying to pick fights? We don’t really care that you’re driving too fast or swear too much or watch too much football. We just want a taste of that passion when you retort. That’s why we pick fights about our relationships too. Why don’t you call? Why don’t you take me out? Why can’t we be like Edward and Bella? Yeah, we just want you fight back. Give us a little spark to go on. That shows us that yes, you are passionate about this relationship. If you don’t give a little spicy spark back, blow us off, don’t listen, that’s when we have a bit of a problem and actually get mad and start giving the silent treatment (what, you don’t even have enough passion to say something? Fine. I will show you just how un-passionate I can be. Hmph). I’m not saying that this is cool or fun for you. I’m not saying that it’s rational or mature on our part. I don’t even know if this is what most girls are thinking. I’m just giving you my most basic understanding of why we do the shit that we do. But I’ve known girls to do this and think this way. I may have done it once or twice myself. Hey, we can’t help it if you’re passionate when you’re mad. And we can’t help it if you’re sexy when you’re passionate.
So yes Nik. Passion is sexy. Tell us about your car that you love so dearly. Tell us about what a badass you are in WOW. Tell us! Please! We wanna see you glow and we want to feel that spark of passion. We want to see how happy you are (yes, we do absolutely love to see you happy). And then we want to get you naked.
So on to the second part. There’s a book called Handyman that is one of my favorite guilty pleasure reads. It’s about this girl that is down and out and has this horrible house that needs fixing up. And then she meets this guy, and he starts helping her by fixing stuff, and damn, it’s hot. Its basic gender roles. The man in all his manliness fixes things for the pretty little lady. You’re our hero. Our prince. You have saved us from the evil water heater. How ever can we repay you? Apple pies and home made gravy!
Ok, but seriously. Yes, it is part gender roles that we are all taught from a young age. You fix, mow, clean out gutters, tinker under the hood, and we clean, bake, take care of the kids, and make sure your socks match. I mean, these days it doesn’t have to be taken to that extreme, but I’m guessing that you like when a woman cooks for you? You like when you come home and she’s tidied up the house?
I have a friend that just started seeing a girl. They’ve been on two or three dates...and what’s their next one? Well, he’s going over to her house to fix her furnace and in turn, she is cooking him dinner. No joke. They’re both playing their strengths within their genders. They’re putting forward what they both know to turn the other one on. My guess...this is going to be a huge boost for their budding romance. I’ll keep you updated.
So fixing things for us...totally sexy. Women aren’t helpless, but we like being helped. And Nik...you hit on one key idea that brings all of this together. What makes this whole chivalry thing a major turn on. Willingness. Like I said in my last post...the fact that you’re willing to put effort and work into us, into helping us, into being with us...yeah that’s the sexist thing a man can do. Be willing to show us that he cares. And if we get a fixed computer or re-tiled bathroom out of the mix then you’d better believe that we will be equally as willing to show you just how happy you’ve made us.
Thanks for the questions Nik. Hope I’ve helped!